el fudge

Multitasking is Fucking Difficult

The other day I grabbed a cookie — an E.L. Fudge Double Stuff (the original) — what I call the hallucination cookie. I call it that because if you eat a few of these cookies, then take a nap on my couch, you will have a vision of things to come. Anyway, with that cookie in my right hand, it suddenly occurred to me that I had a dime in my left pants pocket. This was because I had a dollar earlier and used it to get M&M’s (plain of course) out of the snack food machine at work and that was my change. It’s so rare for me to have any change. I almost never use cash anymore. Only for junk food and cheap hookers. Because of this my CoinStar change bag (which I received from CoinStar because I registered with them online — many years ago) is almost empty and has remained that way for the past two years. I was excited to put my dime in it. So with my dime in my left hand and my cookie in my right, I approached the bag, put the dime in my mouth and started to put the cookie in the bag. Side note: I just realized that the word “multitasking” is really “mul tit asking” which almost means “to think about asking to see your tits”.