Warning: This is the stream of consciousness text behind the podcast. It may contain incomplete sentences, incorrect grammar, and other mistakes. JSYK
Sorry daddy, I’ve been bad. It’s been 13 weeks since my last confession. 13. Interesting.
And why have I been gone for soooooo long?
The absurdity of politics, mainstream media, media, social media, and people
I’ve been on again, off again with meds
I’ve spent actual physical time (as if that really exists) socializing with actually physical humans
Or maybe it was Heroin
Don’t worry, I can’t do heroin or cocaine or marijuana because I can be drug tested at my day job — but I can take all the medical professional prescribed drugs I want!!!! Hell, the insurance companies force us to get 90 days of drugs all the time — and keep it reoccurring so we never run out. But don’t worry no ones every died from prescription drugs. Wait… what? They have? Wow. A lot of people have.
And while there is still NOT an appropriate government approved drug that can help me (I’ve looked and tried, and because of those 90 days of pills requirements, I have an overabundance of leftovers) it has been proven that weed, which hasn’t killed anyone, could actually save my sanity and my life. But alas, it’s still illegal here, but don’t worry because cutting yourself is still legal — if you keep the cuts hidden of course.
Anyhoo, a lot has changed since we last had this style of intercourse.
New podcast title — it’s now called “Maybe it’s the Heroin Talking”
New website title — it’s now ProbeOfUranus DOT com
But don’t worry, everything is still exactly the same. Same content, same me — Crazy. On some spectrum. On and off meds. Looking for a way out.
But why did I return? Why am I back? Back again? Regis is back. Tell a friend. It started with a text from a friend. They said, “Are you ok ????” (With 4 question marks) and I replied with, “I’m awesome!” Because honestly, there is no way I’m going to tell the truth. Saying something like “I’m fine” is the lie we tell others because we don’t want to say, “I’m a trembling mess of depression and self doubt and …” well, you known the rest.
This isn’t a cry for help. No. Not at all. This is not me looking for pity for sympathy. This is just me as I am. Looking to understand more, because knowledge is power! (School House Rocks).
So I’m back! Rebooting my search for sanity! And thanks for coming with me on this journey (the original journal with Steve Perry).
A lot happened while I was out, here are the highlights:
I recently retrieved a copy of my college transcript (from 20+ years ago) — I did this because I was thinking of moving forward on a master or Phd program. And I discovered, or shall I say re-discovered, my final GPA was, um, not flattering 2.67 / 4.0. Now, I’m smart and I continue to learn and have professional certifications that required study and exams. But my college years were quite an experience — in education, life, and work. Try to find a party where I wasn’t naked in college — go ahead — try!. Maybe I’ll talk about that another time.
I’ve continued to play D&D and getting the hang of role playing. That’s R-O-L-E as in being someone else. It’s like we are unpaid actors entertaining ourselves. And that’s pretty cool.
I went back home to Indiana — but it doesn’t feel like home — not at all. It feels like a completely foreign place. Home is wherever I live right now.
There have been 2 hurricanes (Florence and Michael) in my area since we last had this style of intercourse. Although for me, they where tropical storms and because I’m located in Charlotte, NC, I only got rain and wind. I was lucky. A lot of people were not lucky so please donate or help out where you can.
I thought about what I would say to a younger version of myself if I could travel back in time. Think about it, a young version of me seeing an old scary bald guy — what advise could I give him? “Just Don’t” that’s what I’d tell him. If it’s illegal or immoral JUST DON’T — or you’ll end up like me!
And there have been an immense amount of distractions over my break, such as:
People destroying Nike shoes and clothing (aka stuff they already paid for) over an ad referring to that kneeling protest against inequality in America. — we’ve talked about this before, protesting is the most American thing you can do. And the protesters tell you what their protest is about — no one else can.
In 1992, Sinead O’Conner tore up a picture of the Pope on SNL as a protest of sexual abuse of children in the Catholic Church (and other abuse in the church as well). In 2002 the US published the first “official” report of over children being abused in the Catholic Church. In 2018 a literal child sex ring involving over 300 children and priests of the Catholic Church was discovered in the US. So why aren’t people protesting the Catholic Church? The Pope is an elected position (by elder dudes). The Pope is NOT closer to God (read the Bible to see who is the most important — spoiler — isn’t no one). I understand it’s not everyone in the church — but it’s starting to look that way. The current structure of the church should be abolished and rebuilt. ALL OF IT.
If you are against abortions, that’s great! Please do, it’s your right! If you are against legal safe abortions, just keep in mind that making it illegal will NOT STOP IT AT ALL. It will only make women have unsafe abortions. Murder is illegal, yet people still murder. Rape is illegal yet people still rape. Drugs are illegal, yet people still do them. Illegal doesn’t do anything to prevent it, it picks up AFTER it’s already been done. Punishment.
I’m not saying give up on protesting abortion — just focus on informing women peacefully. Raise money to bring knowledge to women and men. The men are just as responsible. If you want women to keep babies they don’t want, then raise money to help care for these children.
The Supreme Court of the US — it’s an outdated concept that doesn’t work anymore. It’s no longer independent thinkers focused on the constitution. It was made clear recently with Kavanaugh that it’s about partisanship and revenge. It’s over. Abolish it and rebuild a new one from scratch.
As for men being afraid to be around women along because of allegations — AWESOME! It’s about time men were scared. Women have been terrified of being drugged, attacked, and/or raped by men since the dawn of time. We have to teach women to never leave their drink unattended. Never walk home alone. Men deserve to live in fear. Maybe that way we can strike a balance and neither side has anything to fear.
Also there needs to be a way for men to “rehabilitate” themselves or “redeem” themselves after sexual assaults, especially those outside of the statute of limitations. How do they pay their debt to society. Can they participate in women's groups? Sit in on group therapy sessions? Pay money to women’s organizations?
As for politics in general, please stop the hate. It’s not helping at all. Only intelligent discussion can help. But that’s not going to happen in my lifetime. And that makes me sad.
Jon Hamn as Batman, somehow that’s in my newsfeed. But someone suggested something else — Space Ghost! Let’s have a Space Ghost movie which includes original style and Coast to Coast as well.
New Doctor Who — awesome! She felt just like the Doctors before her.
Kayne and Trump — I don’t care!
Let’s Make American Greater Than Ever (MAGTE)