This is episode s10e25(390) for Monday, June 26, 2017 and clocked in at 20 minutes, 10 seconds
BTW, that's an old joke I started with, I just customized it a bit. So don't give me too much credit.
But what I said was true, except for the goat thing. Trying to define yourself through others will get you no where … at least it didn't help me.
I've been trying to really discover what I am for a long time. Am I a writer? A poet? A programmer? An asshole? A podcaster? A family man? — Sure I'm all of these things — but there was something else deep inside I've been trying to unlock and this week I've discovered it. As a matter of fact it's been in front of me the entire time.
Here's how I was able to to do it:
First, I waited patiently for God to (long pause) — I’m just fucking with ya …
I spent the past several days with a pretty intense headache.
Maybe it's a tumor — It's not tumor!
Have you ever stared at yourself in the mirror and questioned if that person is you or someone else in another dimension? Stare into their eyes and notice their pupils are very tiny and you wonder if their head is hurting as much as yours? Asking for friend.
Anyway. This headache has been staying with me. We are pretty sure it's a side effect of a change in meds (new and withdrawal from another), but that's not important right now (and stop calling Shirley). The pain was everywhere my glasses touch — and I at times it blocked my peripheral vision - like I was in a tunnel. It has been intense. I'm calling it, "The Walking Dead Headache". It's like a migraine almost started. Lightheaded and dizzy.
Nothing helped. Cold, warm, drugs, alcohol, caffeine. — Except for intense focus on an activity. When I did that, it pushed it back so that I could interact with the world around me — and I did just that.
I never let it stop me. I was out and about on Saturday — driving, walking, talking, eating — andwhile it bothered me (intensely) and I felt I might die, never did it cause me to panic. And that's significant. For the past year, something like this would have put me into panic mode that would be worse than the headache. But it didn't. And that made me feel great while still being in great pain! It's was exciting.
Maybe it's just the heroin talking…
Or the all the ants crawling all over me. Ahhhh!! Get them off of me, for gods sakes, get them off of me!!!!!
I'm starting to think my body has hit the reset button and I'm rebooting - reseting to factory defaults maybe?
Maybe I should have started this with, "Once upon a time" — people like that.
So why did I tell you this? Because THIS, my friends and listeners, THIS is what I do and this is who I am.
And can we just let the goat incident fade away — please.
—>> "The Never-Ending as Always" <<—
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Special thanks this episode to Mykl’s @ Rhetoric of The Idle Mind